Top 4 Reasons Nannies Should Ask For An Annual Recommendation Letter

If you are an employer and your nanny just asked you for a recommendation letter out of the blue - don’t panic! It isn’t a surefire sign that they are looking for greener pastures. It could just be a step to creating or updating their professional nanny portfolio. If you haven’t checked in recently to gauge the relational temperature, ask for a check-in when you provide the letter. And if you chat with your nanny on the regular, don’t assume something has changed with the request of a letter. Instead, read on to find out some reasons your nanny will want recommendation letters throughout employment.

If you are a nanny and you are trying to figure out why you should get a recommendation letter now, or how to ask your employer for one without them fearing the worst - here are our top reasons to ask for an annual recommendation letter instead of an end-of-employment recommendation letter.

Why Should It Be Annual?

1.  Building A Record of Consistent Care

Nannying can look so different and no nanny resume is the same. Some nannies boast a long resume with many families with contracts that last 1-2 years. Some nannies have a resume that at first glance looks empty with only one or two families but have stayed on with those families for 6+ years. The nanny with many families is going to show up to interviews with an abundance of recommendation letters from a multitude of families, and the nanny with only a couple long term placements will show up with two. While their experience is different, neither is more or less valid or exceptional. The only difference is their ability to market that experience to the next family. Establishing an annual recommendation letter is important because it builds a record of consistent care. If a nanny has a recommendation letter from their first year, and their second year, and their third year all singing the same praises it shows that their work-ethic, passion for childcare, professionalism, and performance remained steady or even grew throughout their time in a position. 

2. Showing Change in Job Responsibilities

Not only does an annual recommendation letter show consistency in care and performance over time but it also shows change in performance over time. I know that sounds backwards - that a nanny should want recommendation letters to show both consistency and change over time - but let me explain. 

Families are looking for a nanny who consistently shows up and is responsible, loving, professional… but they are also looking for an individual who is adaptable, because what family dynamic is static and predictable? If a nanny has been with a family for multiple years there are changes that inevitably occur, and a recommendation letter from each year can indicate all the ways a nanny navigated those changes. Some of those changes include:

• The addition of new children: adding a new sibling or even a few can shake up routines and expectations. How did your nanny help older siblings adjust? Balance new schedules? Support parents through the fourth trimester? Handle more kids and provide adequate attention and engagement?

• New developmental stages and milestones: regardless of the family, this one is a given. Every child grows and ages. And keeping a record of excellence through the developmental stages can be key to job opportunities in the future. If a nanny has been long term with a family from infancy to elementary school, they may be passed up for future positions with infants if all of their recommendation letters are from after the position ended. But a recommendation letter from each developmental stage that acknowledges the different hats your nanny wears at each stage will open doors in the future. Was your nanny incredibly soft and gentle with your infant? Were they a sleep training expert? What about those twos and threes - did your nanny exhibit the patience of a saint? Teach your kids language around feelings and handle meltdowns like a pro? Was your nanny super active with your preschooler? Was potty training a breeze and over before it started? 

• New tasks and requirements: the reality is that most houses aren’t already set up to be robotically efficient. What started as just a nannying position may have grown over time, especially as children started part time preschool and time became an abundance in the day. Maybe your nanny has taken over certain errands or household tasks while kids are at school, or has transitioned into more of a family assistant or household manager role. 

• Other family changes: there are any number of changes to the family that nannies provide support through, and those changes may directly impact what shows up in a recommendation letter. Maybe a grandparent moved into the household due to health issues, one of the children developed an allergy, the family moved and the nanny moved with them, a new pet was added to the household, a divorce, a loss, a wedding, a new job… whether the change is positive or negative, chances are it impacts the day-to-day interactions between a nanny and child. And how they navigate and provide support through those challenges can be an incredible testament to their quality and professionalism as a nanny. And while a recommendation letter doesn’t have to air out family laundry or personal information, consider the qualities that are demonstrated in those moments: empathy, compassion, knowledge, persistence, patience, flexibility, proactiveness, confidence, kindness, honesty…

The letter for a nanny with a single infant to first time parents is very different from the letter for the nanny of the same family with three kids in elementary school. Not because the nanny is any different, but because the qualities and skills highlighted at that stage will look so different. 

Consider a recommendation letter a time capsule into a specific year in the working relationship between a nanny and family. It documents the successes and wins of each stage, the skills they gained, and the effort they put in.

3. Maintaining a Professional Nanny Portfolio

If you are a nanny and you don’t already have a nanny portfolio, I highly recommend you create one… and then once you have one I highly recommend you update it every year. Consider your nanny portfolio a living and breathing expression of your growth as a nanny. It should have a resume that is up-to-date all the way through to your current position, any continuing education classes and training you have taken, and all your recommendation letters. Every year at your annual review you should get a recommendation letter and slip it into your portfolio. 

That way when your position does come to an end, you aren’t battling with the emotions of leaving your nanny kids, searching for a job, and trying to track down all your documents for a midnight print job before your first interview. Even the BEST send off from a position - the one where the kids are going to school in the fall and the family told you 6 months in advance that they won’t be renewing your contract - is stressful and emotional. That’s not even considering the positions that end suddenly because a nanny parent lost their job unexpectedly, they are moving across the country for a new opportunity, a change in schedules becomes incompatible for longevity… a portfolio isn’t necessary to getting a nanny job, but it is a great way to set yourself apart as a professional nanny. Being proactive about having a portfolio ready to go will save you heartache and stress when it finally is time to start looking.

4. Unraveling Urgency and Overwhelm for Parents

Just like you don’t want to suddenly be on the hook for creating a resume and portfolio out of thin air when a position ends - parents don’t want to be on the hook for providing a recommendation letter in the middle of a transition. Regardless of who initiates the end of the contract - a nanny leaving a family is a transition for everyone involved. Instead of asking for a recommendation letter with your two weeks notice, let families know during the interview process that you would like one every year with your annual review. That way parents can plan ahead to write one when they have time to sit down and really write something thoughtful. If you wait until the end of employment, you may not get one at all as parents may get busy interviewing new nannies, unpacking the house after a move, transitioning their kids to full-time school, or even just being emotionally available as their kids process you not being around anymore. 

Asking For the Letter

1. During the Interview

The best time to ask for an annual recommendation letter is in your initial interview. While families are looking at your portfolio and reading your glowing recommendation letters, let them know that you are going to require an annual letter from them with your annual review. This is the best method because it avoids surprises and reduces the anxiety of employers that you are asking for a letter because you are looking for a new position. Build an annual recommendation letter into your Nanny Family Work Agreement and stipulate when you will receive it (ex. 2 weeks after the anniversary of your hire date). 

2. Before the Annual Review

The next best time to ask for an annual recommendation letter is a month or two before your annual review. If you are coming up on your first year of employment, remind your employers that you would like to sit down and have a performance review and go over any upcoming changes or concerns. And let them know that you would also like to have a recommendation letter to add to your portfolio.

“Hey, I can’t believe it has already been ten months! I want to be proactive and make sure we have a time set up to sit down together for a one-year-review and see what worked, what needs some work, and if there are any other thoughts or concerns we need to address. I also would really love it if you would write me a recommendation letter to add to my nanny portfolio describing my performance for your family this year. I try to get one every year from each of my nanny families so I can show how my performance looks year to year.”

And if you don’t ask before the annual review, you can always ask during your annual review. Just expect to receive it a few weeks after your review. 

3. During Employment

Okay, you’ve been with a family already for a couple of years and have never asked for one before. If you ask now, you are kinda worried that your nanny family is going to think you are actively job searching. Consider giving a little more information when you ask. Let your employers know that you are building or updating your portfolio and you want to start adding annual recommendation letters. Share the reasons above, or reasons of your own, that you want to add recommendation letters to your portfolio. And if you aren’t looking for a new position, go ahead and tell them that too.

“Hey Nanny Family, I have been working on career development as a nanny and am updating my nanny portfolio. I am asking all of my nanny families to provide me with recommendation letters that I can add to my portfolio and would love it if you would write me a recommendation letter for the past few years. I am not looking for a new position - I know last we talked you want me to stay until the youngest is in full-time school but I wanted to have a letter that encompasses my strengths from when the kiddos are babies and toddlers, and not just a letter in a few years when they are big.”

4. After Employment Ends

Okay, so you didn’t even know you needed recommendation letters until now, and you have three previous families and no letters to show for it. Don’t worry. That is okay! Reach out to previous employers and let them know that you want to add recommendation letters to your nanny portfolio and ask them if they would be willing to write one for your time with their family.

If your previous families are willing to be references for you when you do a job search, they are likely to also be willing to write you a recommendation letter. You can even let them know when you ask for the letter that one of the perks of having them is to reduce the number of calls to your references when you do a job search.

“Hey Previous Nanny Family, I hope you are doing well! I appreciate that you were willing to be one of my references in my last job search. I am working on building a nanny portfolio and I want to add recommendation letters from my previous families to showcase my quality and performance as a nanny without inundating my references with calls from every family I interview with. Would you be willing to write me a recommendation letter to add to my portfolio detailing your experience having me as a nanny?”

5. BONUS

Recommendation letters don’t have to strictly be from previous employers! You can add additional recommendation letters to your nanny portfolio behind your full-time position letters. 

• Babysitting families - any families that you have been a consistent and regular babysitter for past or present.

• Daycares or preschool jobs - if you worked in a professional childcare setting at any point in your career they can write you a recommendation letter.

• Summer families and temporary families - if you worked as a temp nanny or a summer nanny for a family they can write you a recommendation letter based on their experience. These are best to get as soon as you leave the position while the experience is still fresh in their minds. 

• Child-centric jobs - any jobs that were predominantly child-centric and hands on can give you recommendation letters… swim coach, camp counselor, kid’s gym, dance instructor, gymnastics coach.

• Child-centric volunteer work - so it wasn’t a professional position but you coached your little brother’s t-ball team for three summers and the parents still sing your praises.

• Church nursery or Sunday School - have the director of the program write you a letter to add to your portfolio.

• Personal recommendation letters - do you have close friends with kids who you are an honorary “auntie” or equivalent… Personal recommendation letters should be at the back of your portfolio and should clearly state that they are personal not professional recommendations. But they can speak to your personality, involvement with their children’s lives, and character.

• Previous nanny kids - this is one of my all-time favorites. If you have nanny kids (past or present) who are old enough to write you a recommendation letter based on their experiences with you it is an incredible bonus. 

• Be creative - if there are people in your life who regularly see you interact with children go ahead and ask for a recommendation letter, just make sure they clearly communicate how they know you and how they personally witness you interacting with kids. Are you a regular at a storytime where the librarian knows you? Do the grandparents of your nanny kids spend a lot of time with you and the kids? Do you volunteer in the classroom at your nanny kid’s school where the teachers and administrators can speak to their experiences with you? Are there parents of friends and classmates that you do playdates with regularly who would write a letter for your portfolio?