More Than Mess
The Story Behind Our End-of-Summer Potluck and Paint Fight
There is one day on the calendar every year that I look forward to with a kind of anticipation that makes my heart beat faster and swell with joy. You might guess that I’m talking about Christmas, or Thanksgiving, or even my birthday… but more than all of those days combined, the day I look forward to the most is the annual end-of-summer paint fight. And it isn’t just because I thrive in chaos and color and mess (although I totally do). It’s because it is a touchstone of my relationships with the children and families who have built my passion for caregiving.
When I became a nanny over a decade ago my primary education in childcare was based in trauma-informed caregiving, child development through the lens of social work, and protective factors for at-risk youth. And all of these studies pointed me towards one thing - that children need secure attachments to healthy adult role models that they can count on. I made a commitment to every child and family that I care for and have cared for that I would be their forever nanny… that even when they no longer needed me in the capacity of a nanny I would always be in their corner and available to them.
The annual end-of-summer paint fight was born out of that commitment. It started with a playful summer activity with my first family and expanded every year to include the new friends we had made each year, the new families I cared for as a nanny or babysitter, the previous families who had outgrown their need for me, and the nannies I mentored along the way. It became a ritual that forged connection and fond memories… a moment in time that said “I’m still here and I want to know you.”
One of the hardest parts of being a nanny is that, eventually, you always have to let go. But one of the most rewarding parts is having the privilege of watching the young people you helped raise grow into the best versions of themselves. Watching them develop their own unique hobbies and interests… Listening to them gush with excitement about their new favorite book, the off-Broadway musical they can’t wait to go see, the camp they went to for the first time this summer, the new game they recently discovered… Seeing them reconnect with old friends from playdates long ago… Seeing them outgrow me quite literally (which at 5’0” they sometimes do while I am still their nanny)...
This year some of my oldest nanny kids are now in middle school and high school. They could at this point be far too cool to come to their old nanny’s paint fight… They are absolutely too tall for me to pick up and swing around like I used to. But seeing them run across the field, and knowing that they know how incredibly loved, valuable, and cared for they are means the world to me.
I have been privileged to watch the kiddos I have in my village - both those I have cared for myself, and those who have become a part of my orbit through playdates and close friendships with their nannies or parents - grow year after year. And while life gets busy and it’s hard to make it to every sporting event and dance recital, I know that once a year at the end of the summer almost all of my kiddos will gather in one place to celebrate connection.
